Our cheating hearts - Kate Figes

Most of us manage to be monogamous, most of the time. But most of us also know that adultery is the 'crime' we could imagine ourselves committing.

But does being 'faithful' mean the same to everyone? Why DO people have affairs?

Using real-life testimony from those who have 'cheated' and those who have been cheated on, alongside the most up to date research, this book looks at the big questions around love and commitment.

Kate Figes shows how in our progressive times monogamy has become the new ideal. Absolute fidelity in sexual love, above all, now stands as the primary symbol of commitment. But that has created new problems: increasing the allure of the affair, exacerbating the need for deceit; making trust harder; and highlighting the shame and the wounds of betrayal.

This book lifts the taboos, asks the tough questions, suggests that we can survive an affair and that it can lead to a better understanding of ourselves and our relationships. Monogamy is possible and many couples manage it either throughout their relationship or for long periods of time. But for the countless others a more honest and humane public debate around the subject of infidelity is essential . Our Cheating Hearts, by the author known and respected for charting the emotional territory of relationships, is that book.

Kate Figes is the author of four previous works of non-fiction: The Big Fat Bitch Book , Life After Birth , The Terrible Teens - What Every Parent Needs to Know and, most recently, Couples: How We Make Love Last , as well as two novels.

This book should be supplied free on the National Health, it would save the country a fortune
Helen Simpson for Couples

Figes brings her subject to life with passion and sense
Guardian for Couples - Susanna Rustin

As absorbing as a good novel or a soul-baring talk with an old and trusted friend
New Statesman for Couples - Melissa Benn