Captains outrageous - Joe R. Lansdale

Hap Collins, chicken plant guard, saves a young woman. However, no good deed goes unpunished when he takes his best friend Leonard on a Caribbean cruise. Misbehaving at a lobster dinner, the two are abandoned in Mexico, where Leonard is saved from armed attackers by a geriatric fisherman and his lovely daughter-currently involved with a Mexican mobster and a practicing nudist. Trying for once to stay out of other people's business, Hap returns to East Texas but is overwhelmed when he learns of the senorita's murder. Not taking it lying down, he and Leonard return to Mexico to even the score.