Diddly Squat. Home to roost - Jeremy Clarkson

Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm.

So, that went well . . .

The spring barley crop failed.
Just like the oil seed rape.
And the durum wheat.
Then the oats turned the color of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went moldy.
Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative.Jeremywould be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world's persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero's not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop's still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn't.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriendLisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Geraldhis Head of Security Jeremy knows he's got the best. And it's hard for a chap to feeltoogloomy about things when there's a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.