Freezer burn - Joe R Lansdale

Bill is a loser. He has no job and no money and no mother ... his mother was dead and kind of freeze-dried in her bedroom. She doesn't smell as bad as she used to, but her welfare checks are piling up and he doesn't feel smart enough to forge her signature. So he decides to rob the firecracker stand across the highway from his house, for cash and maybe a few loud bangs into the bargain.
The heist goes horribly wrong and Bill winds up on the run with a freak show: Ulysses S Grant the bearded lady, Double Buckwheat the Siamese twins and Conrad the dog man. Plus Gidget, the trailer-trash hot blonde; could it be that Bill's loser days are over? Nope...