Henry Beard was the founder and one of the original editors of 'National Lampoon'. He is the author of a number of bestselling books, including 'French for Cats', 'Poetry for Cats', 'Latin for All Occasions', 'O.J.'s Legal Pad' and 'Zen for Cats'.
All the French and poetry your cat will ever need, this book is aimed at only the most sophisticated of felines. As well as French vocabulary for every occasion, poems include 'The Cat's Tale' by Chaucer's cat and 'Kubla Kat' by Samuel Taylor Coleridge's cat.
To a Vase,
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning's cat
How do I break thee? Let me count the ways.
I break thee if thou art at any height
My paw can reach, when, smarting from some slight,
I sulk, or have one of my crazy days.
I break thee with an accidental graze
Or twitch of tail, if I should take a fright.
I break thee out of pure and simple spite
The way I broke the jar of mayonnaise.
I break thee if a bug upone thee sits.
I break thee if I'm in a playful mood,
And then I wrestle with the shiny bits.
I break thee if I do not like my food.
And if someone thy shards together fits,
I'll break thee once again when thou art glued.
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