How to boil a flamingo - Allison Vale

An elegant tome fit for all ladies, this volume provides necessary advice, wisdom, and guidance on the essential art of being a lady. For those unfortunate enough not to be a lady by birth, authors Allison Vale and Alison Rattle offer the assembled wisdom of generations of women for the benefit of such poor lost souls. They suggest that after a perusal of the pages herein, and with practice and dedication, anyone can conduct themselves with elegance and poise?a term at a Swiss finishing school is no longer key to becoming a real lady and attracting the eye of a gentleman. From essential bedroom conduct (How to avoid the parental consequences of marital relations), to the aesthetic (How to enhance the profile of your nose), the necessary (How to hire a lady in waiting or identify a witch), and the bizarre (Enjoy the "Indian weed" with propriety), this is an essential purchase for all aspiring young ladies.