Jolles lays out a simple, flexible, repeatable process that begins with establishing genuine trust and connection by asking the right questions, not by telling people what you think they need. You're not trying to force someone to come to a conclusion that only benefits you-that is manipulation. Your task is to explore and expose through dialogue the pain caused by the problem the other person is facing, and the consequences that could result from not dealing with the problem, and to work with them so that they see what you're suggesting will benefit them and those they care about. That is influence.
The book is filled with sometimes funny, sometimes moving stories of the principles behind Jolle's approach in action. These stories emphasize the hard line between influence and manipulation. Sometimes we have to take a stand, reach down deep, and help people change their minds.
But rather than feeling badly, we need to believe in something bigger. We need to believe there is a clear, ethical line between influence and manipulation, and to stay on the right side of that line.
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