Our house - Cathy Woodman

Sadie Keith doesn't have it all, but she's proud of what she's got: two gorgeous children, a challenging career as a magic operative (that's a clown to you and me) and a cleavage that has, so far, pluckily resisted the forces of age, twin babies and gravity. When Sadie goes to bed (alone) she dreams about two things - a night of passion before she forgets what it feels like, and making enough money to hang up her red nose for good. So when she sees a dilapidated house on the market, Sadie has a brainwave. Why not buy the property, do it up and sell it on? If the people on the telly can do it, so can she. All she needs is a builder. With his tight jeans, tanned torso and and tools at the ready, Gareth Bryant seems the perfect choice. What's more, he's wild about Sadie. But as the money runs out, the rain runs in and the kids run riot, Sadie wonders if she's fallen for the wrong kind of cowboy.