Sex Terror - Mark Simpson

In the sexplicit age chastity has fallen flat on her back with her legs in the air--and everyone is queuing up to take advantage. Even presidents. Now that the Oval Office has become the Oral Office, can young people look up to the leader of the free world without imagining a hand around the back of their heads?

In Sex Terror, the follow-up to It's a Queer World, his critically acclaimed anarchic romp through the institutions of normality, Mark Simpson dispenses with the monkey business of sexuality and finally takes on the organ grinder itself: sex.

Simpson argues that we put far too much faith in sex these days, and that in fact sex is messy, confusing, frustrating, and ultimately disappointing. If you're doing it right. Subjecting our saucy new god to his scornful satire, Simpson takes on every new shibboleth about doing the nasty: it must be hot, it must be frequent, it must wake the neighbors, and it must be Who You Are.

In Sex Terror, Mark Simpson explains:

• why bad sex is better than hot sex
• why the best relationship he's ever had is with a neighbor he's never met
• why anal sex 'doesn't work'
• why hypocrisy is the best aphrodisiac
• why gay men are terrified of women's privates
• why Bill Clinton DIDN'T lie about That Woman
• why films like Independence Day and Stargate are even more obsessed with men's bottoms than he is
  
  Along the way he is cruised by 'Galen' from Planet of the Apes in a Beverly Hills restaurant, gets worked up with Alexis Arquette over Stephen Baldwin's butt, discovers that Eminem's lyrical homophobia barely disguises a rampant homophilia, complains that Brad Pitt is a one night stand that won't leave, confronts Henry Rollins with those 'gay'rumors, and has an hilarious bathetic encounter with a glory hole in a Parisian sex club.