Clive Whichelowis a journalist and comedy writer. He has written for Rory Bremner, Jonathan Ross, Spitting Image and many others as well as forThe Mail on Sunday, theDaily Expressand theDaily Mirror.
Your life may now consist of sleeping during sex instead of after it and going to more funerals than weddings.
On the bright side, you can get away with making no effort whatsoever to lose weight. And all those charities you gave to - it's payback time!
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