The Bluffer's guide to etiquette - William Hanson

Instantly acquire all the knowledge you need to pass as an expert in the world of etiquette and high society. Know what to say, what not to say, where to be seen, and what and what not to wear. Never again be found wanting when asked if someone is PLU or NQOCD, why port should be passed to the left, or how many air kisses you should aim at the proffered cheek of someone you barely know. Arm yourself with the essential words or phrases which have entered the etiquette lexicon from pre-revolutionary France, and know not to mix up your droit de seigneurwith your noblesse oblige.

Bask in the admiration of your aristocratic hosts as you enquire politely about the place a table, pronounce confidently on whether the going is heavy or soft, and hold your own against the most sneering of posturing parvenus.