The pocket cockney rhyming slang

Conventionally, a cockney is anyone born 'within the sound of Bow Bells' - St Mary-le-Bow church, in London - but rather than fixating on Dirty Den from Eastenders, Dickensian villains or Pearly Kings and Queens, perhaps we should focus rather on comedian Arthur Smith's definition, which may be nearer the mark: a cockney is simply a 'non-posh Londoner'.

This pocket glossary is intended for quick and easy reference; it's a portable cockney kit. Supposedly rhyming cockney slang was originally invented to outwit authority and eavesdroppers. Whether that's true or not, it remains a closed language to the uninitiated. But its humour is too good to be missed, which is, in large part, the rationale for this compact, entertaining volume.

Very rarely does a true cockney use his or her 'loaf of bread' (head); a cockney uses simply their 'loaf'. Where slang is abbreviated in this way, examples are given. Of course, rhyming cockney slang is constantly evolving and being added to, so this pocket guide cannot be the last word, but it offers a dependably solid foundation.