The second coming - John Niven

'GOD'S COMING - LOOK BUSY!'

God really is coming, and he is going to be pissed. Having left his son in charge, God treated himself to a well-earned break around the height of the Renaissance. A good time to go fishing. He returns in 2011 to find things on Earth haven't gone quite to plan...

The world has been rendered a human toilet: genocide; starvation; people obsessed with vacuous celebrity culture, 'and', God points out, 'there are fucking Christians everywhere'. God hates Christians. There's only one thing for it. They're sending the kid back.

JC, reborn, is a struggling musician in New York City, helping people as best he can and trying to teach the one true commandment: Be Nice! Gathering disciples along the way - a motley collection of basket cases, stoners and alcoholics - he realises his best chance to win hearts and minds may lie in a TV talent contest. American Pop Star is the number one show in America, the unholy creation of English record executive Steven Stelfox...a man who's more than a match for the Son of God.