The southerner's instruction book - Jim Erskine

Heading south? Already there and feel out of place? Bone up on your Southern-isms before you stick out in a Dixie crowd like a pickup truck at a Porsche dealership!Arm yourself with the best defense to avoid being called a Yankee-The Southerner's Instruction Book. It's a simple approach to living life the way it's meant to be below the Mason-Dixon line. Inside are more than 300 quips, aphorisms, and pieces of advice that will help anyone fine tune his Southernness. Some are peppered with a little tongue-in-cheek spice, while others are as genuine as a hound dog's love for its master.From the covert Northerner trying to blend in with the kinfolk to the Southerner who is trying to get back to his roots, these simple sayings will inspire and enrich one's Southern experience. And even if this book fails at that, it should at least tickle the chitlins out of anyone!Just a few of the warnings issued are "The friendly guy who asks you, 'How are they bitin'? is always the game warden" and "Barbeque and white shirts do not mix." It also gives inspiration to our lives for when things are going sour from "Good biscuits will always make up for a bad meal" to "Some possums are just destined to meet their fate under your car."