Treasure Island!!! - Sara Levine

When a college graduate with a history of hapless dead-end jobs reads Robert Louis Stevenson's novel Treasure Island, she is dumbstruck by the timid design of her life. When had she ever, like Jim Hawkins, boldly stolen a boat, killed a man and eliminated the obstacle that stood between her and her gold? Convinced that the book is cosmically intended for her, she redesignes her life according to its Core Values: boldness, resolution, independence and horn-blowing. Accompanied by her mother, sister and a hostile parrot, she embarks on a frightening adventure.