The Surprisingly Easy Guide to Surviving Without Your Smartphone
You’ve left your mobile phone at home and you’re panicking. Your palms are sweaty, your breathing is shallow – how will you survive?
Lucky for you, we’ve got all the answers in this super handy print-out-and-keep guide. If you’re one of the 93% of people terrified of losing your phone, it’s probably best you keep it with you at all times.
Step 1: Put something else in your pocket/bag.
The missing weight/bulk will freak you out at first. Grab whatever you can – crumpled up paper, a brick, that rice you cooked for your lunch – and stuff it in the pocket you usually put your phone in. It’ll be like it never left your side!
Step 2: Get to the nearest computer and announce your terrible news to everyone
Image credit: Sarah B Brooks on Flickr
Everyone must know that you have lost your phone, even if you haven’t spoken to them in years. Commandeer the nearest computer (knock on people’s doors if you have to) and use every means necessary to tell people that you won’t be contactable today. Their hearts will be broken, but they’ll understand.
Step 3: Draw up contingency plans for communication
Image credit: StockMonkeys.com
You’ve got no calls, no texts and no social media. How on earth are you supposed to keep in touch with your friends and colleagues?
It’s easy! There are loads of alternatives, including: smoke signals, carrier pigeons, letters, Morse code, throat singing, sonar, messages in bottles, planes with messages tied to the back, sky writing, telegram, and actually visiting your friends and talking to them face-to-face.
Or you could go with our personal favourite, the text-to-landline, in which a robot reads out your friend’s text messages to you via your landline. It’s literally minutes of fun.
Step 4: Use your time to do other stuff
Image credit: Jessica Spengler on Flickr
It’s amazing how much time checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr and Tinder, playing endless amounts of free games and generally browsing the infinite pages of the internet actually takes up.
You’ll suddenly find yourself with a lot of time and nothing to do, especially at lunch time. It’s the perfect excuse to take up a hobby, like line dancing, calligraphy or stamp collecting (or you could use the time to declutter and sell stuff with musicMagpie), although you probably won’t have much time to get good at it.
Eventually, you’ll be so consumed by your new hobby that you’ll forget that smartphones actually exist, although it does mean you’ll be in exactly the same situation if ever happen to lose whatever it is you need to pursue your hobby. Ah well.
Step 5: Don’t worry about the phantom vibrations
It’s an actual thing. You might be going mad, but don’t worry because everyone else is too.
Step 6: Remember: nothing important will happen
Count the amount of times you check your phone every day. Now count how many times something important happened.
Yep, thought so. Statistically, you’re not going to miss anything so stop panicking.
And this post has somehow managed to convince that life without a smartphone is the way to go, you can always sell your smartphone with musicMagpie!
(Main Image Credit: Karlis Damblans on Flickr)