10 things video games have made much easier
Learning a new skill requires patience, endurance and a willingness to learn.
Video games, on the other hand, let you do everything you’ve ever wanted by pressing a few buttons. Such as…
Thanks to games, you don’t have to risk breaking your ankle while learning how to kickflip. Instead, you can go straight to the big boy ramps and backflip off them without smashing all your teeth out. Rad!
Being in a band
Guitar Hero and Rockband give you all the glamour of playing a live show without having to practise for hours on end or spend most of your life in a stinky van. There’s no risk of getting bottled when you hit a bum note either.
Drive any car you want at any speed you want with no traffic jams or inconsiderate so-and-sos cutting you up, without having to worry about car insurance, MOT or even cleaning your vehicle. Video game driving is awesome!
Experience the glory of winning the World Cup – no talent required! There’s no media scrutiny, no potential for national outrage and no risk of ending up on a Football Gaffes video for missing a sitter, although you might get shouted at by an angry teenager.
We wouldn’t mind some of the money though.
Surviving a zombie apocalypse
A real life zombie apocalypse would be terrifying , with a constant threat of being eaten alive by the undead underpinned by starvation, no electricity and paranoid fellow survivors. Considering most of us can’t live without our phone for an hour, we’d be doomed.
In video games, however, the end of the world is as fun as an afternoon at a particularly gory Wacky Warehouse. Build a spear with a chainsaw on the end and chuck it into a horde of zombies! Recover your health by shoving herbs down your throat! Die then come straight back again!
Have you ever tried to build a house in real life? It’s a nightmare: you need planning permission, materials, skilled labour and an bottomless pit of money.
In video games, building your own kingdom is as simple as finding materials lying about and pressing a button to place them in a certain position, while ‘planning permission’ usually consists of killing everything in sight and claiming the land as your own.
Going on a real life hike means buying loads of equipment and traipsing around in the British weather, only to end up with sore legs and blisters.
When you take a hike in Skyrim, the only risk is getting attacked by a dragon who you can beat up with a sword. We’ll take that over a blister.
Becoming an astronaut takes years of training and an advanced knowledge of maths and physics, while booking a trip to space costs $250,000 or a commitment to spend the rest of your life on Mars.
In video games, you can explore the cosmos for £40 at most, you don’t have to eat rubbish spaceman food and you get to see your family again at the end of it.
We should mention that video games astronauts are more likely to be attacked by aliens than real life astronauts, although we’d take that over learning all that physics and maths stuff.
Living a successful life
Exhibit A: The Sims.
The life of a Sim is simple. Eat food, get a job, talk to people every now and again and make sure you go to the toilet on time. When life gets boring, hit fast forward. Bliss.
The only real adversity a Sim faces is the possibly their creator is a psycho who’ll remove all the doors from their house and start a fire by placing hundreds of barbecues and fireplaces in their home. Or put them in a pool and take the stairs away. Or deprive them of food and laugh when they wee themselves. What were we talking about again?
Talking to people
In video game land, there’s no risk of stumbling over your words or saying something hugely inappropriate. Instead, you can spend 5 minutes deciding what to say and then say it like the most charismatic person in the world. Let’s be honest: we could all do with this in real life.
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