10 of the best video games with no killing
We're tired, people. Tired of killing.
Not in real life, obviously (please, put down the phone). On video games.
All those dead-eyed drones we've shot, stabbed and squashed under our big Italian plumber shoes, just trying to do their job their evil master set them. We laughed as they fell to our might. HAHAHA!
But now, we want to stop. We've put flowers in our hair and become pacifists. We just want to spread the love, man. Or at least play some games without killing for a while.
If you're like us (and we know you are ;)), here are 5 amazing games where you don't have to kill anything.
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Dishonored casts players as an assassin seeking revenge on those who killed his Queen, which sounds like the perfect set-up for 20 hours of bloodshed.
And it is: but only if you choose it to be. You can actually play the whole game without killing a single thing if you use sleep darts, knock people out and come up with creative solutions to get round baddies.
It's not exactly non-violent, but you can at least go to sleep at night feeling good about showing mercy to that fictional bloke who was just doing his fictional job.
Minecraft favours creation over destruction, giving you the ability to build whatever monumental structures your mind can conceive (as long as it can be done with blocks).
While Minecraft's Survival Mode does involve some killing, Creative Mode lets you build whatever you want without having to even imagine drawing a sword in anger.
Everyone's favourite French whatever-he-is has starred in many great games, with Legendsone of the best. It received a 9.5/10 from IGN, who praised it for its platforming genius and the variety and creativity of the game's design and levels.
Alright, so you do have to hit stuff but no-one really dies. It's like The A-Team, which had loads of guns but no-one ever got hit, but with a odd no-limbed thing with a dodgy hair-do instead of Mr. T, who has a dodgy hair-do but very much has limbs.
The beautiful game is thankfully devoid of murder, unless FIFA decide to turn it something like Rollerball.
For the time being, though, the only kind of violence you'll find in FIFA 16is the odd dodgy slide tackle and that unstoppable surge of rage you feel when you someone has stuffed you on Ultimate Team again. Grr!
Guitar Hero Live
Put that gun down and pick up a guitar for a few hours.Guitar Hero Live gives you all the good bits of being a rockstar, like the adoration and that awesome feeling when you nail a solo, without the bad bits like soundchecks, having to practise and spending most of your life on a sweaty bus with people you're gradually starting to hate.
It also involves no killing, unless you imagine slaughtering that heckler for booing your awful attempt at playing Paint It Black.
Batman: Arkham Knight
Despite punching more people than Conor McGregor at an all-night fight club, Batman's whole schtick is that he doesn't kill people.
Arkham Knight goes to extreme lengths to make sure that Bats no-kill streak continues. Fights end in knockouts, while trying to run someone over in the Batmobile emits an electrical field that blasts enemies to one side. Even the enemy tanks that litter the city are described as "˜drones' with no-one in them, giving you free license to blow them away.
There is one slight grey area, however, as you can shoot baddies with the gun on the Batmobile – although they're probably nice friendly bullets that tickle people. Probably.
Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two
No matter how horrible the world seems, Disney can make it better.
In this platformer, Mickey Mouse teams up with a chap name Oswald to save the Wasteland, where classic and retired Disney characters live, from an army of evil robots. Instead of using a gun or his fists, big Mick uses a paintbrush that has the power to turn enemies into friends. D'aww.
Journey won more or less every video game award going when it was released in 2013, partly because it's so different.
The goal of the game is simple: take your adventurer to a mountain in the distance. However, the journey there (see what they did?) is often arduous and emotional, and it looks fantastic too.
It's a nice change of pace from the usual "OMG YOU MUST KILL EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW" and it might even make you shed a tear too. Don't worry, we're all friends here.
Although it looks like an FPS, Portal 2 asks you to solve your problem – being stuck in a lab with a crazed AI – with physics instead of bullets. You're given a magic gun that creates two portals which can be used to traverse rooms, gaps and much more.
While GlaDOS tries to kill you, the hostility is pretty much all one way. Unless you feel bad for destroying the odd turret, in which case video games probably aren't for you.
Splatoon is the perfect shooting game for people who don't like shooting people. Yeah, they exist. We don't get it either.
Anyway, the goal of Splatoon is to cover as much of a map with a specific colour of paint. You can shoot your fellow players, but they'll be covered in paint rather than blood. It's a bit like paintball but without the risk of getting shot in the private parts.
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