8 of the weirdest upcoming movies
In the age of the internet, movie studios get the hype machine whirring by announcing films years in advance. It’s why we know that there’s a Star Wars movie coming out in 2020, and why we know that there are approximately 100 billion Marvel movies on the way.
However, a movie will sometimes crop up on the schedule and cause more confusion than hype. Are they really making that? Really?!
Here are just a few of those movies apparently hitting a screen near you soon.
Thankfully not a reboot of The Human Centipede, this is an adaptation of the Atari game of the same name.
Video game adaptations are nothing new, of course, but Centipede is a weird choice mainly because it doesn’t have a plot or characters. It’s just a kind of human looking head firing lasers at a centipede and other creepy crawlers because…well, he doesn’t really have a reason.
We’re guessing it’ll be an ultra-violent action thriller about man-eating garden insects. We’re probably also very, very wrong.
Announced at the same time as Centipede, Missile Command is another Atari game being adapted after 30 years.
Back in the day, Missile Command would have been a perfect Cold War thriller. In the game, you try (and usually fail) to save a city from a barrage of nuclear missiles, and it’s not hard to guess who sent them.
It’s a little harder to see how it’ll work in the modern age and there are at least 50 other games crying out for a movie adaptation before this one (*coughHalocough*). But still, it could be interesting.
Yep, this is really happening.
The Monopoly movie apparently focuses on a young boy from Baltic Avenue, the US equivalent of Whitechapel Road, as he embarks on a journey to become extremely rich by building big red hotels and bankrupting all of his friends.
No word on whether the film will feature any boards or fake money being launched across the room by an angry sibling yet, but fingers crossed.
Machete Kills In Space
How do you make a film as ridiculous as Machete Kills even more ridiculous? You send it to space, of course!
Machete Kills In Space was first seen at the end of Machete Kills and was presumed to be a joke. Then Danny Trejo said it wasn’t. Apparently, Robert Rodriguez is already working on it.
Plot details are thin on the ground at the moment, although the trailer shows Machete fighting to save an enslaved planet. We can smell a Star Wars crossover already.
The Play-Doh Movie
If you thought Centipede was a stretch, try this on for size: a movie based on the squishy clay that kids can’t seem to resist sticking into their gobs at every opportunity.
But before you run off to tweet about how creatively bankrupt Hollywood is, consider this: Paul Feig, who made great movies like Bridesmaids and Spy, is working on it. Don’t get too excited, but this could actually be quite good.
Plus, remember what happened that time we were all angry about a movie about Lego?
There aren’t many films about food, but animated comedy Animal Crackers may change that. Based on the popular American snack, it follows a circus-owning family as they munch on a magical box of crackers that turns them into whichever animal-shaped biscuit they eat. Sounds like a different kind of cracker, to be honest…
Don’t dismiss it just yet though, because the cast sounds amazing. John Krasinki and Emily Blunt are in the lead roles, with Sylvester Stallone, Danny DeVito and Ian McKellen supporting.
The Emoji Movie
This is not a drill. A movie based on emojis is coming out in August next year.
The Emoji Movie will be set in a magical place called Emoji Valley, where the emojis live and work. Emoji Valley, in case you were wondering, exists in someone’s smartphone and is accessed through the text app. We’re not making this up.
We’re guessing it’ll be like Inside Out, with each emoji representing a different emotion. Or it’ll be all about the poo and his quest for acceptance. We’re hoping for the latter.
Seth Rogen voices a sausage who is ecstatic to be picked from the supermarket shelves… until he discovers that he and his friends exist only to be eaten by terrifying humans.
After suffering an existential crisis, he then teams up with his fellow food, including a hot dog bun and a taco, to escape. Jonah Hill, Kristen Wiig and James Franco co-star.
The trailer suggests it’ll be every bit as weird as it sounds, but much ruder.
What movies are you looking forward to? Let us know in the comments!
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Main image credit: Leo Hidalgo on Flickr